It's closing in on my first year as a Christian. Funny enough the anniversary itself falls on October 27th, next Wednesday. This is the same day that I will be going to meet with the venue to finalize a date for my wedding; where I will be marrying the man I met and fell in love with at a church young adult group 8 months ago.
The passage of time is an amazing things. It heals wounds, gives us wisdom and insight, yet in my past 12 months as a Christian I have come full circle to embrace my original outlook on the world. Yes, I am more mellow, pray regularly, attend church (when work permits) but I am not a different person. When I became "born again" (for lack of a better term) I had this image of what a Christian looked like, believed, listened to, watched, drank and probably even ate. I can safely say I wasn't very much fun to be around those first few months.
Over the course of time it was my political beliefs that lead me to this second wave of self discovery. My voting track record (Democrat) and passion for equality (Gay rights and feminism) really forced me to examine Christians in the media.
The media *Cough* Fox News *Cough* has this way of portraying Christian as Republicans. My newly Christian self was shocked! I'm a Christian...but also a Democrat? WHAT?!?
I do not believe in judgement. I do not believe in telling others how to live their lives, yet the "left" side of the media tends to portray Christians exactly like that. Where was I supposed to get a healthy idea of what a modern liberal open minded Christian looked like?
These preconceived notions of what a Christian was supposed to be became suffocating after a while. I remember coming home from bible study in tears because divorce came up and I guess mine was not real in God's eyes because its cause did not fall into a biblically appropriate reason for divorce.
While these first 6 months of my new found faith lead to some intense internal conflict, I am glad it occurred. Anything that has happened in my past is between me and God and as far as I know, we are both cool with everything at the moment.
Meeting my fiance probably was the turning point in realizing that I could be the same person I was before (only Christian now) and people would love/accept me for that. My love of shocking people came to a quick halt when I found someone I could not shock. I no longer feel the need to regret any past bad decisions (except for maybe that one terribly located tattoo) or beat myself up over things I can not change because those things don't phase him. If I have accepted Christ into my life and started over, why would it be necessary to feel guilty for things that I can't change?
This image of what the "perfect Christian" was, was quickly shattered when we first met and talked in depth about the bands we both liked. No, I don't listen to much Christian music. Besides, my book and movie choices are far from being sold at LifeWay. Yes, I enjoy the occasional drink and don't find curse words all that offensive. Hey! I may have even once said "Planned Parenthood offers the community a great resource". That's me and always has been. Becoming a Christian does not magically plant a chip in ones brain that makes them stop enjoying movies like "The Hangover", it also didn't make me stop caring about the rights of my gay friends to marry the ones they love, the rights of women, or the fact that every American deserves affordable health care.
This may not be how the media portrays Christians, but I no longer feel the need to defend myself and I am happy with that.
I know I can't be alone out there. The vocal majority, the Evangelical movement, whatever you wish to call the outspoken Christian culture... I'm not going to fit into that mold.
It may have taken me almost a year to discover, but I have never been happier with who I am.
So I invite you friends, join me on this journey as I start a new chapter in my life.
I look forward to posts on crafting, saving money, relationships, cooking, religion, as I discover myself and learn for real this time what it means to be a wife.
