Shelving books in the 000-300's on an almost daily basis I come across a variety of "interesting" self help books, new age, religion, and sociology books. I have always been drawn to this subject, perhaps by my own constant striving for self-improvement. A month or so ago I first saw the book "Lies Young Women Believe". My first reaction was to hide the book so no "young women" would be forced to read it. Glancing through the title I saw many good points on how society judges women on their looks and discards them as individuals. Yet I saw several passages and "lies" about marriage being a priority over a career, even attending college, the book says there are lies saying you could choose to not have children and be happy. How preposterous!
Perhaps it is because I have experienced first hand the downfall of not being pickier in the marriage department and not "finding myself" before making that jump? The concept that you HAVE to be married and have children to have worth is exactly why young women are so afraid to be alone that they will commit to anyone to avoid the dreaded label of single in our society.
It is a stretch to call my current position a career, but it gives me a sense of self and value knowing that I am providing a service to society (do hookers say the same thing?)
Perhaps the reason I take these types of books so personally is that I have seen my own mother work so hard to obtain a masters degree, while raising a young child, and managing to teach college. And yes, my brother is perhaps the most well adjusted child I have ever seen.
My coworker told me today that I had a great role model for my education and career goals, and I realized that I couldn't agree more.
The most memorable conversations I had in my childhood with my mom involved the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I typically answered "Popsicle flavor inventor" (Age 5) "Dinosaur bone digger" (Age 6) "Radio DJ" (12) "Rock star!" (13) "Lawyer" (14) "Avant Garde Jazz Saxophonist" (17) "Artist" (18) "Biological Anthropologist" (19) "Chef" (20) "Make up artist" (21)
Then my dreams just kind of died for a few years there. Perhaps I never picked a realistic career...Perhaps I thought I could never achieve these goals so I should just give up?
In my mind, society/the media told me "you are worthless if you are single". That is the lie that "they" want you to believe. I have never felt society was pushing me to have a career.
I think people found my level of excitement out of having a cubicle (OK, so it's not really a cubicle as it only has 2 walls) a bit creepy. To me having a desk, having coworkers to gossip and have (sometimes pretentious) conversations with gives me a sense of self that I don't think I could find anywhere else.
I literally gave up on working and having a career at 21, and I have never been happier to be employed.
My low level job is symbolic of so many things in my life that I have worked so hard to achieve over the last few years. Never did I think I could work full time (in addition to going to school and planning a wedding? Crazy!)
I love hearing stories of women who are going back to school later in life and they make me so happy. Remember the story of the 80 year old woman that went back to high school? Yeah...She rocked!
It breaks my heart when I see young girls go as brides for Halloween. If I ever have a daughter, hopefully she will go as an astronaut/high powered attorney/ninja.
When my Mom asked me as a child what I wanted to be when I grew up, I am pretty sure "Wife" was never an answer. When I was a child, I tended to view marriage as something that just happened naturally when you got older...Like puberty I guess? Grow up, get breasts, get husband? There was never an idea that you would one day fall madly in love and decide to spend your life with someone...it was this assumption that you just got bored of dating so you settled for someone.
Yes my ideas on love, marriage, having a career have changed drastically in the last 2 years. Yes I am ambitious. One of those women "those books" warn you about. The kind of woman who thinks she can have it all and make a difference in the world.
I wake up each day thanking God that I have the opportunity to do so.
