Pre-marital counseling. Those two words are enough to make anyone nervous.
Will I be grilled about past "relationships"?
Will I be told "YOU ARE UNFIT TO MARRY!"?
Will I be made to feel like a failure at life to be on marriage #2 at 24?
Face it...Everyone has insecurities. Everyone.
Whether you like it or not, there are things you would rather your pastor not know, or for some people, even their partner.
As pretty much anyone who has met me more than a few times can tell you, shy/closed off/private is something that I am not.
Just 8 months ago I stood in front of three different church services to tell the story of how I came to know Christ. I didn't think anything I shared was particularily shocking, but I could tell by the looks on some faces and the response I received that this was not something that people were used to.
Perhaps this is why I expected judgement when meeting with the pastor to discuss my plans to marry. So often people hide their fears, past experiences, or even what makes them tick. There is this overwhelming need in our society to be accepted, that people often forsake letting others know the real them.
Ever post something on Facebook a tad too personal and receive the response "I can't believe you shared that!?"
Yes this is what I am referring too. It's often when we are struggling the most that we need the most support from our community, yet this is when people feel the most afraid to open up.
Counseling turned out to be nothing to fear. No judgement, no probing overly personal questions. There was actually just one question...How does Christ effect our lives? But we were sitting in our pastor's office, so this wasn't exactly shocking. I was put on the spot and rambled like I usually do in that situation, but I'm very glad I went.
In that one hour I learned so many great tools to help our marriage down the road.
So I suppose this is my shameless plug for recomending a pre-marital class. (I will call it a class due to the social stigma of counseling *GASP!*)
Seeing as we are both complete iPhone junkies we ended up downloading the "Five Love Languages" App while waiting for a parade at Disney.
Taking the quiz, I found many of the questions to be a bit confusing. "Do you prefer watching a movie or cuddling?" Well...I certainly don't enjoy watching a movie while sitting 3 feet apart.
"Do you prefer holding hands or going for walks?" I tend to think the two go hand in hand (GAH! BAD PUN!)
Over all I think this quiz is the most important step anyone could take to understand their partner better and to enhance their relationship. On the Five Love Languages website http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ it went on to reveal that your top two love languages are often the things you complain to your partner about.
So why not save yourself dozens of fights and simply take the quiz together?
I'm so glad that I did.
By the way....I'm all about "Words of Affirmation" apparently.
Also "Physical Touch"...But if there was a love language of stangers and the general public, my primary love language would be "Personal Space".
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